Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Sharing the news - Help required

So, this Saturday will be a big day in babyland for us.

No, no. I still have more than six months to go on this whole pregnancy train, as my morning sickness reminds me every day. I'm sure my general level of crankiness is what reminds Hubby.

On Saturday we're having both sets of parents over for lunch at our place. Ostensibly it's an apology meal for being so busy lately that we haven't had time to socialize with them (and by busy I mean sick and tired, though not of them). In reality it's the day we've chosen to tell them to expect their first grandchild.

I'm eleven weeks pregnant today, and close enough to the three-month mark to feel fairly confident that all is going well. I'd hoped to have undergone my first ultrasound so that I'd have a visual aid, however my parents are unavailable every weekend after this until Christmas, and the ultrasound isn't until next Tuesday. I'm sure they'd make themselves available if they knew such big news was in store, however that'd spoil the surprise.

Reasons I want to tell them before Christmas:

1) It's going to be increasingly difficult to hide the belly bulge that is beginning to make itself known. My pants are starting to get a bit tight, and for the first time in my life this is not a sign to lay off the crap food because I haven't been eating (much of) it.

2) Apparently I'm such an alcoholic and cola addict that the tip-off sign to everyone who has figured it out so far is that I'm not drinking booze or Diet Pepsi. There is no way I'll be able to find a non-tip-off way out of the wine that accompanies every meal leading up to the holidays at both families' houses. Since we want both sets of parents to find out simultaneously, I can't let them figure it out on their own.

3) I don't want to receive a bottle of my favourite expensive port from my generous in-laws for Christmas. I won't be able to touch it for at least a year (assuming breastfeeding goes well), and having it sit in my wine fridge completely untouchable will just make me cry given my overly-hormonal state these days.

4) I don't want either set of parents to waste money buying brie and blue cheeses just for me to eat over the holidays. You're supposed to stay away from unpasteurized cheese while pregnant, and to have it sitting in front of me...Well, see the statement about the port. Drinking 20-year-old Taylor Fladgate while eating a nice piece of blue cheese is my idea of nirvana. Hmm. Maybe I'll just have that cry right now.

5) I want to tell my far flung relatives about the pregnancy in their Christmas cards. It'll be nice to have a piece of interesting news to share for once, and it'll save on overseas postage and phone calls if I do it all together. However, I can't tell Uncle Mort if I haven't told Dad yet, can I?

6) Some of the friends who know we're expecting have family in the same small town as our parents live. They've been very good about keeping the secret so far, but it's bound to come out over the holidays. And in a small town, once someone knows, everyone knows.

7) This is where I get selfish. I'd like to receive some baby-oriented gifts for Christmas. A gift card from Toys"R"Us will be more useful than one from Best Buy. Sorry Hubby.

So, all four of the parents will be told this weekend. The question remaining is how. This is where I need your help.

If you've had kids, how did you tell your families, especially about the first one? If you haven't but are planning to, how have you dreamed of doing it? Feel free to share your stories in the comments. I need all the ideas I can get.


FourPillars said...

Sushi is not allowed either. :)

Just tell them - it's not a marriage proposal after all. And trust me, they won't be surprised (but they will be happy).

Wait till they all arrive at your place and when everyone is seated - just blurt it out - it'll be easy after that.


Fecundity said...

I'm hoping they will be a little surprised, we have been married for ten years with no signs of babies in the past. Though I suppose the fact that we both have good jobs and we bought a house with three bedrooms is probably a bit of a hint that something will be going on soon.

Brip Blap said...

Side note: I have decided, based on advice from doctors/ob-gyns/pediatricians etc. that pregnant women have no choice but to stop imbibing anything other than bread and water. Two drops of soda or a tablespoon of cheese or, heaven forbid, a half a glass of champagne once every two months will result in the earth cracking open and a chasm leading to the pits of hell swallowing up the bad mother. :) And once the baby arrives, he should immediately be placed in a bubble. Seriously, my wife was petrified by the advice all the doctors gave. You know in France doctors advise women not to eat raw vegetables when pregnant - it's considered to be massively dangerous in case they aren't washed thoroughly enough - but the same doctors advise a glass of wine daily to calm the nerves? You'll get different advice in different countries. [end rant]

I'm with Mike - just tell them! If you've been married for 10 years with no kids yet, trust me - they'll be blown away. I actually told my parents with a phone call, both times. Just blurt it!


Fecundity said...

Make sure you boil the water first, Steve, and it should probably be whole wheat bread, though not rye since you wouldn't want to risk ergot poisoning. ;)

Let's see. Cut back on tuna and other big game fish and avoid shellfish altogether but make sure you eat seafood, it's brain food. Don't eat unpasteurized dairy but increase your calcium intake, it builds bones and muscles. Avoid raw veggies and ready-to-eat salads but cram as many cooked cooked fruits and veggies in as possible since they have fibre and vitamins. Avoid deli meats, pate and hotdogs but increase your iron and protein intake.

Okay, if both of you agree I probably will just blurt it out.

Way to suck all the fun out of it.

FourPillars said...

Steve - pretty funny.

F - don't worry - it will be a lot of fun telling them. I'm sure they will be a bit surprised (but not shocked).


Anonymous said...

Hi Fecundity,

Great blog! I got here through a link from Four Pillars so thanks go to them too.

I'm about 20 weeks into my first pregnancy. My hubby is the most impatient person ever so it was pure torture for him to hold off on telling family the news. We ended up calling our folks and siblings (a little on the boring side) but I did make one-page newspapers (with the ultrasound as the main image) announcing the pregnancy and included a couple of articles about how I was feeling (not too many details), our choice of care (midwife) and other bits of info I thought people would want to ask (i.e. that we don't want to know the baby's sex). We sent those out to all the extended family and friends (mostly by mail because we're old school). It was a fun way to spread the news.

On some pregnancy blogs I've read that people have had parents over to their homes for a meal of baby back ribs with baby carrots and baby potatoes...you get the idea. You may have to produce a menu in print form for it to work (I would have to, anyways) but it's different. Others suggested getting little placemarkers for the table or t-shirts wrapped up as napkins that say Grandma X and Grandpa Y. Just a couple of thoughts...

Good luck with the announcement -- they'll be over the moon!

Cheers, K

guinness416 said...

Funny; we've guessed a few expecting mothers based on sudden sobriety too. Mind you my mother drank throughout her pregnancy with me, which may explain a lot. Exciting times! I'm sure they'll be thrilled.

Fecundity said...

@Anonymous - Those are great ideas. Love the 'newspaper', and the baby-named food menu is a cute. Sadly my fatigue won out and I took the easy option of blurting the news. They were still thrilled, so I guess it was sufficient. :)

@Guinness - It's a pretty big giveaway. My conversation went something like:
Friend - You sure you don't want a beer? We've got lots.
Me - Nope, this is fine. I'm driving.
Friend - We've got Pepsi if you prefer. You look tired.
Me - Thanks, but I'm just in a Sprite mood.
Friend - Sprite doesn't have caffeine.
Me - I'd heard that.
Friend - You're pregnant, aren't you?
Me - Crap.

Fecundity said...

Oh! And congrats on your own good impending parentalhood, Anon. Sorry. Meant to write that and forgot.